Careless in the care of Him
Early morning. Woken to crystal droplets adorning the sky, permeating the earth below. I put on the kettle to prepare a cup of my favorite Earl Grey, something safe and familiar. The orchestral swells and haunting melodies of Among Savages mirror the ebb and flow of the rain, becoming one unified sound.
There isn’t much of a view today. Condensation distorts my reality, closing me into this haven I call home. It’s funny how the morning seems to reflect my mind, so much uncertainty, so hard to see past these walls that surround me. Yet as I slide open the window letting the day inside a renewed clarity falls upon me.
I trace the patterns of the rain on my window, clearing a portion of the foggy glass. The saturated grass outside boasts a brilliant green and the spring birds haven’t slowed pace for a second.
“Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.”
I think that creation is one of the greatest testimonies of the faithfulness of the Lord and His divine order in the perceived disorder and spontaneity of it all. I could make up countless excuses to justify my stress or uneasiness, but a greater truth overtakes these doubts flagging my mind. To fret and worry and brood over my circumstances would only halt my progress and contradict my faith. So I hold onto promises fulfilled. Debts provided for. And dreams realized. And I remind myself, as I’ve done so many times before, that my external circumstances do not determine my internal realities. In a season of endless unknowns all I can do is trust in him. He really has got everything figured out.
So I muse the possibilities of the days ahead with transcendent peace and overwhelming joy. This, my life, is the greatest adventure I will ever behold.
Looking over at my half packed suitcase, clothes strewn on the floor around it, I think of all the places I’ve been and all the things I’ve picked up along the way. Oceans, mountains, forests, plains, cities, towns, and villages…preaching at schools in Belize, teaching Dominican Republican children how to play basketball, picking fruit in an orphanage orchard in Mexico, feeding the homeless downtown, loving on the lady in line before me at Trader Joes, or singing and writing songs with the little girl next door. Moments. Moments that couldn’t have happened without the divine orchestration of the Lord. And moments that will hold the greatest value and impact, if only you will let them.
And though it doesn’t always feel like I’m going somewhere or doing something of importance, I’m starting to realize that each moment is simply what you make of it. Significance is in the person’s ability to access divine perspective in each circumstance.
I can’t help but have joy, finding myself so thankful for the unknowns and mysteries of the future, and for the ability that I have been given to take what is in a moment and see the greatness of it.
In about 7 hours I will be on my way to Ecuador to love on a people that I have never met before and share the Fathers heart with them. This trip is going to change me. It happens every time. I’ve already seen his radical provision and grace on this journey and I expect to see it in even greater abundance in the days to come. In the Kingdom expectation propels progress and creates realities. Dreamers who dream in faith are the ones whose visions manifest on this earth.
This is a good life.
I will not stop, slow down, or fade out.
But I will live radically, faithfully, and carelessly in the care of Him.